It is common for couples to have conflicts, to create unhealthy patterns in their relationship, and to start to withdraw or become dissatisfied in their relationship. Often differences that may have first been attractive become irritating and problematic. The blame game begins and pretty soon everyone is unhappy.
I work to help clients identify both the positives and the negatives of their relationship. I encourage each person to take responsibility for their part in making positive changes. This may include becoming more assertive, becoming a better listener, being willing to compromise or learning to accept differences.
Though couples sometimes determine their problems are irreconcilable often I see couples become closer, more loving, and happier in their relationship.
Tools for Couples Counseling
- Creating a Relationship Vision to determine common goals and assess where they are now
- Focus on Appreciation of each other and what attracted them to each other initially
- Create a Safe Environment for open communication about conflicts and problems
- Facilitate Understanding of each other from a place of caring and respect
- Facilitate Constructive Communication of feelings, wants and needs, making “requests”
- Work for a “win-win” Solution to problems
- Teach “Fair Fight” techniques that facilitate conflict resolution
- Acceptance of Differences and learning to live in peace